I want to throw up my heart and watch it die.

I just want to cut into myself and let the cut bleed. I feel like I'm not worth it. Anything. Nothing at all. I don't deserve to live. I don't deserve to love. I don't deserve to be well. I don't deserve anything.

I want to throw up.

It makes me feel sick, this saddness and the anger in your eyes. I want to throw up.

I want to throw up.

I want to.

I want you to hurt me.

Please take control. Please.

I don't have any anymore. Please control me. Please force me. Please hurt me. Please just own me. Be my master, I'll do whatever you say. Please.

I need to belong to you. Make me subserviant. I need this. Because I want to die now. I feel like I'm choking.... I feel like I want to die because I'm so worthless. Please smack me, push me into wall, punch me. I deserve every ounce of pain and ever drop of torture.

Hurt me.

I know you don't want to.

But I need you.